NERDsport

Once upon a time, the engineers of the company Northern Electrical Research and Development hit upon the idea of wearing pocket protectors to prevent ink stains. They thought that wearing these little plastic strips over the initials of their company embossed on their shirts was an extremely cool thing they did. Unfortunately, the rest of the world begged to differ. No matter how they’d try to prove their coolness to people, all they’d hear in return was, “Dude, you’re a N.E.R.D. It says so on your pocket.”
When I was in school, on being asked whether I play any sport or not, I’d always reply in the affirmative. The enquirers would take a long hard look at my reed thin frame and think to themselves that appearances can be quite deceptive. And then I’d finally let the cat out of the bag. My sport of choice was quizzing. Back then, I’d feel my ego swelling each time I’d introduce myself as a quizzer. It took just two weeks of college for me to learn that I was not a N.E.R.D. but a nerd. Take all the dots out and there goes your fancy jargon down the drain.
The first time I realized that things were different now, was when on the eve of a major quiz, I couldn’t come up with any teammates. In school, the most crippling problem we faced was regarding which three or four people to put in the team out of the seven or eight who’d turn up. And here I was, at 10.30 in the night, literally begging a classmate (who by the way had never ever quizzed in his life) to bail us out the next day. I am pretty sure it was the promised chicken roll and not my damsel-in-distress act that finally got him convinced. We lost the quiz by a huge margin, being nowhere near the top three teams. But at the end of the day, it was the unrealized investment of twenty-five bucks on the chicken roll which this economics student took to heart the most.
Quizzing continued even after that memorable day, though landing a team mate hasn’t been nearly that entertaining.
It was sometime in February this year. I was sitting on the staircase just outside my statistic tutors place, trying to inspire myself to get through the next two hours without the embarrassment of him having to wake me up when it was over. It had been a long day at college and something just told me that it wasn’t going to get any better. Well, from that day onwards I’ve stopped believing in premonitions. One moment I’m awaiting the drudgery of normal distribution, the next moment I’m making a mad dash home. Reason? Since the winners of the Kolkata edition of the IMS Quotient can’t make it for the national quiz finals, the next placed team has to fill in for them. And we have the ample time of 15 hours to kill before we board our flight. Oh, just a small detail that I forgot to mention. The finals were going to be held on board the Star Cruise Libra.
If my reaction when I heard the news was enough to prompt the person on the other side of the phone (in this case being the quizmaster Charanpreet Singh himself) to urgently seek the services of a reputed ear specialist, my teammate Georgie’s outpourings were no less ecstatic.

Me: “GEORGIE… (Pant, pant)…IMS QUOTIENT…MUMBAI... (Pant, pant)…CRUISE…US…TOMORROW! ’’
Georgie: ‘‘Ok.’’
Me: ‘‘Huh? Did I mention the cruise?
Georgie: “Yeah, you did.”
Me: “You’re not excited?’’
Georgie: ‘‘No, I am.’’
Me: ‘‘Well, you’re doing a pretty swell job of expressing it.”

No wonder the guy gets frustrated whenever I’m too hyper on stage (which basically amounts to every time I’m on stage).
Let me now cut to the chase. No reader in his right mind would want to go through the intricacies of a hyper-active girl packing her suitcase in less than 15 minutes. There might be a little more interest in the details of the journey to Mumbai, but the flight was as bland as the food served (I intentionally refrain from naming the said airline). We were ferried straight from the airport to the docks to board our cruise to Goa, yes that’s right, Goa. Once on board we were informed that if we could kindly take a bit of time off from our busy schedules, the semifinals would start in about an hour’s time. Well, I guess we figured that we should do the organizers a favour by turning up to take part. After all, they were paying for our little vacation.
The less is said of the quiz, the better. Or rather, the less is said of our performance, the better. To keep it short and simple, we were decimated. Thankfully, we had a shoulder, in fact lots of shoulders to cry on. Out of the twenty four teams from all over the country, only six made it to the grand finale, the top two from each semifinal. While the latter prepared for another day of fighting it out to emerge as the ultimate winners, the rest of us prepared for Goa.
The next day saw two bus-loads of us wreaking havoc on the beautiful state of Goa. Don’t worry, we didn’t deface the churches or litter the beaches. Our singing in the bus was enough to compel the entire tourist population to seek shelter elsewhere. It was infact the bus ride which brought us all closer. Previously, it was just names and places being thrown at us. Even afterwards, the most difficult thing was to remember who was from which city. But the easiest thing was to make friends.
Sundown saw us weary souls trudging back to the cruise liner for another round of intense partying (with booze on the house), and oh yeah, the quiz finals. A lot of people got tipsy, the details of which have to be kept under wraps by the author of this article for fear of a back-lash from certain quarters. For the people still left standing, it was a night of endless rounds of coffee and playing Trivial Pursuit, and the not-so trivial-pursuit of staying awake to watch the sun-rise. Well, sleep-deprivation is a difficult proposition, as I soon discovered once I got back to Kolkata. But even the apology of a sunrise we caught the next morning, couldn’t spoil the fact that we had a whale of a good time. The morning was spent at cheering on our ring-leader Ravi Handa, who just happened to be one of the organizers, as he made a bomb at the casino using math. Sure made me wish I hadn’t slept through all the probability classes at statistics tuition. Damn!
We returned to Kolkata as the glorious losers. Well, maybe not so glorious after all, but don’t deny me my moment of optimistic ambiguity. However, as word spread of our little cruise to Goa, so did our popularity. All of a sudden we have people we hardly ever talk to coming up to us and asking about the trip. Wonder whether it had anything to do with the Orkut taglines like “Sunny….Back from the cruise!”, “Preyoshi…. Check my album for Goa pics”. Georgie’s was the best: “Georgie Thomas”.
This some may think calls for celebration. After all, isn’t this a step towards popularizing our niche sport? Nerds of the world, rejoice! But face it people, quizzing will never be as mainstream as cricket. It’s still the nerdiest of sports, only the perks have become much more cooler. Nobody quizzes just for the perks, they quiz for the love of showing off that they know more than others. But if the cool prizes bring people in, the more the merrier.
In college, my friends have now nicknamed me the hound. They say it’s because I sniff out quizzes like a dog. Just an hour ago, a friend called to ask about some notes and then ended up asking whether she could come to watch next time some quiz was on. She wanted to see what it actually is like before she starts participating. Hmm, the Hound. Sounds better than nerd any day.

Preyoshi Ganguly

How three rookies got lucky, got quizzed and won a cruise

Chapter 1

Way back in 2006, in a place called coimbatore, three college guys, who called themselves quizzers decided to bunk their classes for some quiz that was to be conducted by some people from am institute called ims... and after some arguing they finally left the college and went to the quiz venue where some usual sights greeted them...

And as usual there they were.... the quizzing heavyweights... u know, the sort of guys who look like they have swallowed something big and its stuck in their throats... with their crumpled shirts, uneven hair, large spectacles, which was according to the rookies, was "the trademark quizzer look". One of them at once started worrying about their chances in the quiz.... And since when did they care about winning?? the day's objective was accomplished... freedom from one day's classes.

Finally the prelims started and there came the quiz master from Kolkata... the great Charanpreet Singh... with his trademark smile on his face... which, turned out to be pretty intimidating to the rookies... and he started firing away the questions. As usual, the rookies were bowled out in most of the questions and as usual started guessing away and laughing within themselves at their answers... finally, the ordeal was over in about half an hour and the worst part of the quiz commenced... the part where they discuss the answers for the prelims... the part of the quiz when they rookies seriously consider going home before the results are announced.

After an agonising session of answer discussion, where the rookies found that most of their answers were not even near and hoped that the person who evaluated our prelims answers did nt know them because it would have been pretty embarrassing... but it turned out that some of their wildest guesses turned out to be right. The rookies are lucky see... but the answers they got right were too few. The rookies decided to have some fun by staying for the finals and winning some goodies from the audience questions.

Then, to the rookies horror, a guy wearing a white ims t-shirt walked in briskly carrying a piece of paper toward the quiz master and handed it to him. With bated breaths, everyone in the hall fell silent to hear out the finalists names. The rookies could nt believe their ears when their name was called out and actually turned around and scanned the hall in case somebody with the same names qualified. Finally they got up with the broadest smiles on their faces and walked up to the stage.

There on the stage were a couple of the "trademark quizzers" the rookies had seen at the registration. Actually they had lost all their fears and were enjoying the moment because they had nothing to lose. This feeling lasted only till they saw the cheque that was going to be presented to the winning team. FIFTEEN THOUSAND RUPEES!! exclaimed one of the rookie and started dreaming about the things he d do with the money. But his dream was cut short by his teammate.

After some formalities and introductions, the quiz commenced. Sadly, the rookies 's luck had run out at that point. They were at the bottom of the score table for about two and their first priority was to score some points and save their faces. Finally, a question to which they knew the answer... the rookie jubilantly answered and felt like he d won the quiz itself... and they were able to answer a couple of other questions and were able to salvage some pride. The quiz finally ended and the rookies went home feeling very content... because they had made it to the finals and had got a certificate saying "city finalist".

But luck would favour them in another way.... the next day, there in the second page of "The Hindu" was a picture of the quiz taking place showing Charanpreet asking a question to the rookies... with two of the rookies clearly visible. They were in the paper!!! instant celebrity status... phone calls from every relative, etc... This euphoria was enough to last weeks and after sometime it died down and the rookies went back to their quiz losing selves.

Chapter 2

Well, a year went by, the rookies had gone to a lot of the quizzes and ended up as spectators in the audience waiting for a chance to answer an audience question and salvage some pride. Then came the news about ims quotient 2007 that was going to be conducted in the city. the news was that it was going to be bigger this time. One of the rookies had the questions from pune sent to him thinking that he was going to have an edge over others.... well.. he sure was proved wrong... cant expect the ims people to be that dumb!!

As usual, thanks to the paranoid rookie, they were there at the venue half an hour early. As usual, there were all those familiar things that they would come across in the quizzes they attended... it was going to be just another quiz they attended. The difference was that they did not bunk classes that day. The quiz took place when they were free. One of the rookies was already making plans for the things to do after the prelims.

This time the rookies knew that no luck could save them today because far too many teams had turned up... thanks to the publicity ims quotient 06 had generated. They waited for the prelims to start and Charanpreet to appear out of somewhere. But there was no Charanpreet that day. A homegrown quizzer, Anand Sharma turned up that day. Anyway, the rookies didnt care who asked the questions... they were nt going to know the answers anyway... even if they did knew some, someone was going to know much more (Atleast thats what they thought...wat they didnt know was luck was on their side and was going to come all the way).

Then, after what seemed like an eternity, the prelims started and the hall fell silent. The rookies braced themselves and two of them started singing "forfeit the game...."(well, its a kind of a ritual before they did something like take an exam, etc...). They were shut up by the third rookie since the first question was going to be read. Just like all the prelims, they thought they sucked and one of the rookies was about to leave the hall but stayed back out of curiosity.

Then came the agonising part where the teams were called up to the stage. Five teams were called to the stage... all pretty serious looking ones. The rookies had made up their mind they were not going to make it.

As usual, the quizmaster decided to have some fun by not reading out the final team by silently smiling at the crowd... this was the last straw for one of the rookies... there is only one spot on the stage left and hundreds of teams around them... there was no way they would make it... then the quizmaster decided to have more fun by saying "aaaaaaand the final team iiiiisssss" an unexpected one.... and he read out the names of the rookies. This time there was no jumping around for the rookies because it did nt sink in well... the fact that they were going to be on stage.... "CITY FINALISTS" was a huge achievement for the rookies who were used to sitting in the audience.

Then the finals started. The rookies had nothing to lose. They decided to have fun... you know.. give funny answers if they did not know the answers. It turned out that luck was with them that day and god had decided to give them everything "chappar phaad ke".. they were in the lead by about 20 points for about three or four rounds when one of the teams caught up with them and equaled their score. Then came the most dreaded part of the quiz.... the buzzer round... well luck was with them that day and they answered one question and took the lead... still it could nt stop the rookies from freaking out. The team didn't answer any question till the last one was read... then the most dreaded thing happened... one of them(the team that caught up) pressed the buzzer triumphantly... it was over!! thought the rookies... it was going to be a tie breaker... they guessed and the answer turned out to be wrong. Well you can guess how the rookies felt. One of them was jumping, one was just sitting... don't know what was going through his mind.. and the other one was saying, ya baby!! bring on the fifteen thousand rupees... he was a little heartbroken when there was no big yellow cheque that day... instead there was a small ship shaped thing they called a ticket... he was thinking its not fair!!! last years team won the money and they went to the semi s. (little did he know that he had in his hand something no amount of money could buy... friendship of the coolest people in India).

The rookies - Praveen, Balaji, Rahul

The cruise

The rookies couldn't wait to hear from the ims guys. They had just taken their names and stuff but there was no news whatsoever for about two weeks. Finally they came.. Anand Sharma himself and Mr Edwin, who would become pretty good friends with the rookies. They were given their tickets and the days that followed were absolute hell... every minute seemed like a year. Somehow they endured the days and finally got on the train and off they went to Mumbai, The city of dreams.

There was a person waiting at the station with an ims placard for the rookies. This was when it finally struck them... they were actually going to be on the cruise!! Then there were the formalities where they were taken to a place to freshen up , etc. As expected , there were all those "TRADEMARK QUIZZERS" ... the kind they encounter at almost every quiz. They had reached a point where their only aim was to have fun and enjoy!! They had almost forgotten about the quiz that was going to take place that night.

The formalities took place for the rest of the day and they were herded to taxies, halls, buses and they finally made it to the docks. The rookies didn't even talk among themselves. They were busy gawking at the huge white cruise liner... "SUPERSTAR LIBRA".

Finally they made it on board the ship and realised that it was finally becoming true. The rookies had expected the atmosphere to be tense and fiercely competitive but it turned out be totally false. The quizzers who had come from all over India were pretty friendly indeed. They were shown to their rooms and they decided to check out every inch of the ship. They spent the remainder of the day jumping up and down the ship.

Then the time came where they had to assemble for the quiz in the hall. It was more of a cozy lounge with all those glittery things and fancy lights and stuff, than the quiz venue. They were told that there would be three semis and two teams from each semi would make it to the finals. The rookies were called to the stage for the third semi which seemed to be ages since the first semi started. They were able to answer some of the questions from the previous semis and hoped to score some points and salvage some pride.

This time they knew that no amount of luck would save them today and their only aim was to score some points and not end up on a duck. It took them more than three rounds to finally get one right and get some points on the board. They ended up scoring thirty points and finishing fourth. It was time to enjoy from now on for they were going to goa the next day. Off they went to the top deck of the ship where they would meet the other teams, who in the next day would become the best friends of the rookies.

The ims people had arranged a tour for the quizzers the next day. About five teams , including the rookies ended up in the last bus and had the full bus for themselves. This would be the point where they would make such good friends that nothing in the world would make them forget the bus trip.

The rookies with the veterans

The rookies had the time of their life in goa with the other teams, singing, dancing, laughing all the way. The places they went to in goa would have been just another church and just another beach if it hadn't been the company. They had a hell of a time in goa and the return to the ship was equally fun.

The finals were going to be held that night in the ship and the rookies were able to answer most of the questions... what an irony... they were completely bowled out in the semis and were thinking they could have salvaged some pride if these questions had been in the semis or they had made it to the finals. The finals was pretty much the same affair but there were cameras from every angle pointed at the finalists and the rookies found the quizmaster a little subdued from his cheerful self. After a very close finals, the team from Delhi ended up the national champions and won the ten day trip to Australia.

Then started the real fun... there was supposed to be a party in the discotheque and the rookies along with the other teams, "the gang from the bus" made it to "boomers', the discotheque. They had real good fun there and made it to the top deck where they decided to stay awake the whole night... they decided to enjoy every minute of the cruise and not waste it sleeping. They played ping pong, trivial pursuit, drank endless cups of black coffee to stay awake and catch the sunrise in the morning. The sun decided to hide behind the clouds and the bus gang decided to have fun at the casino. The casino was another place in the ship where they had a bang. They ended up losing lots of money and watching others lose heir money.

It was morning at last and it finally dawned on the gang that the cruise was going to end in sometime and an uneasy silence fell over them. They started wondering whether they were going to see each other at all. The only consolation for them was orkut... a site created by a genius, a "god".

They finally disembarked at the docks and there was all those farewell handshakes, hugs, goodbye's... the rookies had won something very huge and something that would last their whole life. Friendship. One of the rookies still has dreams about the cruise and the friends he made.

There was one consolation for the rookies though. They, along with two other teams would roam Mumbai for the rest of the day because their trains left from the same station. It was the hardest time for the rookies because they were going to part and there would be at least a thousand kilometers from the nearest friend.

Well , this is how life is and the rookies have got on with life and have started losing quizzes as they always do.